My forever running thoughts...

Here is where I am at! I still have a gazillion things running through my mind. I am still dealing with the anxiety. I am still resting in the Sovereignty of Our Lord and Savior. It is He who sets all things in motion! It is He who is Faithful! It is He who is All-knowing! It is He who has placed this journey on our hearts! And it is He that we are clinging to!!!!

Here are some random, disjointed thoughts that I thought would share--

We hit a road bump in the way that we will report our finances. That had me hardly breathing yesterday...the stress was more than I could take for awhile. Matt is working it through today, and God is in this detail. I can't go into all of the details, because it won't even make sense to you. Just know that satan had me for a moment thinking that we weren't going to be able to adopt our boys! It was a terrible feeling! I layed it out before the Lord this morning and He said, "Is that truth that you are believing?" I answered, "Of course not." He said that I need to believe what is true...it was not Him telling us that we were not going to be able to adopt our boys. It was my mind racing to such a silly conclusion. If in His Sovereign will He would not want us to adopt both boys...we would adjust according to His will. Right now, all He wants is for me to trust Him more!

Tuesday I took off and went to a nearby town to buy blankets for my dear friend that is going on this trip. Ok...I am going to go back here a few moments to tell you about how the Lord brought this most amazing friend into my life. She is Courtney and they are adopting from FHG too. She posted a question on a yahoo group asking if anyone has used FHG. I responded to the group...then sent her a private email. It was from that moment forward that the Lord has bonded us together. We fully believe in couples that can "fall in love" over the Internet...because we have the deepest love and admiration for each other. We have the most incredible God-bond ever. We "talk" numerous times a day. We know exactly the emotions that each other are feeling. We know how to bring each other comfort through the power of the Holy Spirit within us when one of us is struggling with a bad day, a fear, being overwhelmed with the process, etc. It truly is a gift directly from the Lord to have her walk this journey right beside me! Courtney and Brain have 7 children and will be adopting 2 sisters from FHG. Their girls are absolutely beautiful! They have walked this journey before when they adopted a brother and sister from Russia. Her experience with the paper trail is so helpful for me! Our friendship will last far beyond the adoption journey...we are now friends for life...and for that I am so grateful to God!...now back to the whole blanket thing. I bought the boys cotton blankets and am screen printing our photos onto them. I had been going back and forth if I should wait until after our trip to put a photo of us with the boys on it, or put our photos on now and just bring it with us. I, of course, sought Court's advice and she said to bring it with. Mailing things to Haiti is sometime unpredictable...it may get lost, or not make it there for a very long time. So I took her advice and decided to go ahead with getting them done now. She mentioned that she really would like to do this too, but the store in her town was going to charge $50 for the blanket, $25 per photo, and $15 for the embroidering. UGH! I told her that I would go get some blankets and she could send the photos through email. She did just that...I downloaded the photos and off I went with the littlest one to go hunting for blankets. We had a fun day together, we found the blankets, got the photos printed, and everything to the print shop. I am suppose to go back tomorrow to pick our kids' blankets up! I can't wait to see how they turn out. I promise to let you know how they turn out! :) I'll post a picture if I can.

We found a great used van that would fit us all! It is a 1999 Ford van that we happened to come across when we were looking for a tiller for our yard (oh boy, that's a whole other story) anyway, it seats 11! We haven't been out looking for a van, because we were just going to try to get another seat belt added to our van. (Yes, it might be a little comfy for the kids, but hey...it was more budget friendly!) I can just see all of our car seats buckled in safe and sound in this new van! Please pray that the Lord would help us figure out a way to get this if it is His will. The van costs $5300, that is $5300 more than we have...we are strongly convicted to not take out any debt for any of this adoption(the last line was posted purely as a reminder to myself and Matt of what we vowed at the very beginning)! This will have to be a miracle from the Lord...but we know that He is Jehovah Jireh--Our Provider! If this is not His will for our family...we will just keep trusting Him! He knows we want to keep our kids safe...He knows just how that is going to happen! :) We know that He is able to work a miracle, so this is just one more area for us to trust Him.

The most beautiful thing happened yesterday. There is a family also adopting from FHG. The dad and one of the their daughters were planning on going on the missions trip, because the mom is petrified of flying and just couldn't do it. Well, the past few days there have been many people praying because the dd passport was not processed. They even had their congresswoman working on it, but to no avail...the daughter was not going to be able to get her passport in time to go. The husband did not want to go meet their girls alone, so he asked his wife to travel with him...knowing all of her fears. She had some others that came forward in a matter of hours to care for all of their children still at home. Within 24 hours she was on the plane flying to Haiti. Last night our adoption coordinator uploaded photos of this couple meeting their daughters for the very first time. Their girls are 9 and 10 year old sisters. I cried at the beauty of what God did yesterday! He knew He wanted her to trust Him with the flight, and He made that trip happen for her. The photos were such a beautiful testimony of just how much God is in this journey of adoption! I can not wait for those photos to be of us meeting our sons! Trust me...I will post them all! :)

Oh, so you know my forever running list of things to do!?!? Well it is still running...every time I get something done, I remember one more thing I have yet to do! In no time at all, none of it will matter because it will all fade away as we embrace our sons and allow God to use us for His work in Haiti...Oh, I can't wait! Back to reality...my house is still a horrendous "tornado", I still have to pack...well, actually this morning I decided that now was time for me to start getting that done. I packed all of my clothes and all of the boy's clothes. I was feeling all proud of myself for thinking clearly enough to get that accomplished. I started going through the fourteen bags of Target, Walmart, Kmart "stuff" that we have on the floor in our room. (Remember...all the diapers, wipes, ointments, medicines, toys, bottles, formula, etc. ) That is when I found the can of Perimethrin spray...oops...I was suppose to spray all of our clothes before we travel. This spray is to help protect against malaria carrying mosquitoes...and I of course, want that protection. So now I will unpack everything and get it all sprayed down! Do you ever feel so overwhelmed that you can't even get started? :) My list just keeps running...however, I have registered with the embassy, and ordered our travel insurance. I do have the blankets getting done...I still have so much to do, but it will get done...when Matt can help me! ;) He is so good for me...he is so systematic in his approach. He remembers what his current task is and then moves to the next. Me, well...I have self-diagnosed myself with adult ADHD...actually I took an online test, so I do have proof! Needless to say...ordering my thoughts and duties right now needs a little help! :) Praise the Lord for my sweet husband! :)

Hmmm...do you think I have given you enough random thoughts for awhile!?!! I told you I have so many blog posts running through my mind! :)

Your prayers are so greatly appreciated!!! Please pray that I can have order to my thoughts, for the anxiety to subside, for continued provision, and for an openness to hear the Lord in the midst of all of this.