Busted with Bleach

Shoot, Sara, I was hoping you weren't going to catch this post. Sara is my very "green" friend. She is very aware of what kills our earth. I am not always a bleach freak, it just happens that it did work wonders for me yesterday. When we went on our trip to Haiti, our city had so much rain that homes where all getting water in them. My dear parents came and worked so hard to try to keep our home from flooding. We had water coming in the window wells running down the wall and the sump pump quit from so much pumping. My dad spent hours over at our house trying to keep the water damage to a minimal. My brother-in-law traveled to our house to help my dad, and men from the church were helping. So all of this to get to my bleach point...trust me, it's coming. The wall in which the water was coming down was so wet. Earlier this summer I sprayed it with bleach water, but didn't scrub it down. The basement had turned into a "dreaded zone". The girls were completely freaked out to go down there, because they thought that spiders had overtaken it. :) Well, I decided enough was enough...that is great space to use in our home and why should I be wasting it because I don't want to clean it?!?! Therefore, the Comet with Bleach came out and I started scrubbing the wall down. I was able to get all of the mildewy stuff off of there with some major scrubbing with my Comet. Now I just need to repaint it because I scrubbed some of the paint off in my madness...I'll go with a good gallon of Kilz. I am sure there are some major toxins in Kilz too, but what am I suppose to do? What earth friendly substance kills mildew?

Today is a happy day because the basement is on it's way to cleanliness! We are putting some new carpet down there and reclaiming the space from the spiders. It will be so nice to be able to use that space again. It is a shame that I didn't have enough motivation in me to clean it until now. I am telling you the whole super-bad orphanage deal that we have been involved in has been so extremely draining. I can not even explain it to you. I had turned into a different person, and now that we are done working with them the Lord is restoring me. There was such heavy oppression that it is hard to even explain it to others. Those that know me saw what was happening though. We will still continue doing what we need to do to protect other innocent families from getting hurt by this organization. They are continuing on in their sinful, sinful ways and it is disgusting! We can not sit by and watch this happen without doing our part. We will continue to seek the Lord and do what He asks us to do. I do not want to operate out of anger...although it is righteous anger. They are completely misrepresenting the name of the Lord, and it angers me. They are mistreating the children, and it angers me. I know that it angers the Lord even more and HE WILL DEAL WITH THEM!!!! Victory is His...and they've got it coming to them for what they are doing in His name!!

Whew...all of that and all you ask was that I not use bleach! :) Guess you can tell I am still very passionate about this issue!

Cleanoroni...

Who invented Comet with Bleach? This stuff is amazing! I had another day of scrubba-dubba-dubbing!

So pickin' cute...

Isn't Bets just the cutest...check out her latest post!!!

So here's a question for ya...

If you were in a college group stage singer's what songs would you want to sing with your group? I am looking for recent top hits or old school songs....acapella or musically arranged......movie or TV theme songs...country or pop.

My dad is a choral director at a college and I am trying to help him find some new/fun songs for his group to sing. And since I am a groupie who is at every concert they do...well, I have a bias in choosing songs that I want to sit and listen to! ;) He is an amazing music director!! He can get anyone to sing great! We absolutely love going to his concerts, and having some personally chosen songs will add so much more fun for us!

Now I liked songs like I'm Too Sexy for this shirt...this shirt...so sexy it hurts by Right Said Fred...however not something I want my kids singing around the house after the concert. No AC/DC, Aerosmith, or Genie in a Bottle...my children are groupies by default, so try to keep it clean! :)

Here are some to get your juices flowing...Kelly Clarkson's--Because of You, (old school) Brown Eyed Girl, Rascal Flats--Life is a Highway, (old school) Footloose...now jump in and give me your suggestions!!!

What were your favorite songs in jr. high, high school, college, or currently on the radio? I am counting on you to "help a sista out"! :)

I've had a lot of words on here lately, so here is something to break it up...Enjoy!

Ponderings of my heart...

I want to share some of the things that have been upon my heart lately. My heart has been going through a transformation, and it is a good thing. One of the things that has inspirational to me is the book Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. It seems each day the writings have a profound impact upon what my heart is "feeling".

Today's entry is this...

I can be sure that part of God's promised blessing to me is delay and suffering. God is going to test me with delays, and with the delays will come suffering. Yet through it all God's promise stands. I have His new covenant in Christ, and His sacred promise of every smaller blessing that I need. The delays and the suffering are actually part of the promised blessings, so may I praise Him for them today. May I "be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD" (Psalm 27:14)

Unanswered yet the prayer your lips have pleaded
In agony of heart these many years?
Does faith begin to fail? Is hope departing?
And think you all in vain your falling tears?
Say not the Father has not heard your prayer;
You will have your desire sometime, somewhere.

Unanswered yet? No, do not say ungranted;
Perhaps your work is not yet wholly done.
The work began when first your prayer was uttered,
And God will finish what He has begun.
If you will keep the incense burning there,
His glory you will see sometime, somewhere.

Unanswered yet? Faith cannot be unanswered,
Its feet are firmly planted on the Rock;
Amid the wildest storms it stands undaunted,
Nor shakes before the loudest thunder shock.
It know Omnipotence has heard it prayer,
And cries, "It will be done"--sometime, somewhere.
Ophelia G. Browning

This struck my heart so hard this morning. My faith is not failing. Our only desire is to obey the Lord on this journey. If that means that He completely closes the door on adoption to us then we will accept that as His will. We do not believe that He will do that, but our utmost desire is for His will to be done. Now although my faith is strong. My hope has been departing. I found myself the other day saying to a friend, "If we get a baby..." She turned to me and said, "Not if you get a baby, when you get your baby...your baby is coming." I realized that I was losing hope. I think with each situation that doesn't work out it chips away at my hope. What amazing lines in this poem that say...FAITH CANNOT BE UNANSWERED! IT KNOWS OMNIPOTENCE HAS HEARD ITS PRAYER, AND CRIES, "IT WILL BE DONE"--SOMETIME, SOMEWHERE. That is what I believe and how I feel, but I was allowing myself to loose hope.

Here is another portion of this book...
Difficulty is actually the atmosphere surrounding a miracle, or a miracle in its initial stage. Yet if it is to be a great miracle, the surrounding condition will be not simply a difficulty but an utter impossibility. And it is the clinging hand of His child that makes a desperate situation a delight to God.

Oh how I feel sometimes that this is a utter impossibility. Will a b-mom actually want to place her baby in our family when we already have four children? Where will we get all of the money to afford the adoption? Will I be able to handle a newborn and home school the children? That is when I grab His hand and cling to it even tighter. He knows my desperate thoughts...He knows my fears. He also knows exactly how He is going to answer everyone of my questions. All I have to do is keep on pressing on with faith in Him. I don't need to solve the problems. I need to cling to Him, because He is going to do all of this according to His perfect will. Oh that my desperation will turn into a delight to God.

Allow me to share one more portion of this book that has encouraged the depths of my heart...

Mark 9:23 says "Everything is possible for him who believes."


The "everything" mentioned here does not always come simply by asking, because God is always seeking to teach you the way of faith. Your training for a life of faith requires many areas of learning, including the trial of faith, the discipline of faith, the patience of faith, and the courage of faith. Often you will pass through many stages before you finally realize the result of faith--namely victory of faith.

Genuine moral fiber is developed by enduring the discipline of faith. When you have made your request to God, and the answer still has not come, what are you to do? Keep on believing His Word! Never be swayed from it by what you may see or feel. Then as you stand firm, your power and experience is being developed, strengthened, and deepened. When you remain unswayed from your stance of faith, even in view of supposed contradictions to God's Word, you grow stronger on every front.

God will often purposely delay in giving you His answer, and in fact the delay is just as much an answer to your prayer as is the fulfillment when it comes. No amount of persecution will try you as much as experiences like these--ones in which you are required to wait on God. Once He has spoken His promise to work, it is truly hard to wait as you see the day go by with no fulfillment. Yet it is this discipline of faith that will bring you into a knowledge of God that would otherwise be impossible.

I know this is a really long entry, but I have felt pressed by the Lord to share what He has been doing in my heart. He is using the words in this book to bring incredible renewed hope. I can not be swayed by what I feel. I can not lose hope. He is gently reminding me what this journey is about--It is not about us getting a baby...that is the outward appearance of our journey. But to Him this journey is about capturing my heart. About Him walking me through the stages of faith with my hand clinging to His. As He brings me through the stages of faith and produces growth in me, He will bring me to a realization of my faith and the result will be--victory of faith. There is nothing about this journey that I can do on my own. Over and over I need to be reminded that this is all for Him. Praise Jesus that He is a God who transforms our hearts when we least expect it.

Thank you, Jesus, that through this waiting you are producing a deeper faith in me. You are working in the waiting!

Tag--I'm It!

Steph the Arrow Mama tagged me

Jobs I have had in my life:

1. Summer Babysitter for two kids that were almost my age (what was that mom thinking?)
2. McDonald's--I almost got promoted to Drive Thru window, but sports started up again and I quit
3. Janitor--being in big buildings at night with a vaccum running is scary!
4. Temp Girl--BORING!
5. MOPS Council Coordinator--volunteer job (those are the types I like)

Places I have lived:

I haven't lived anywhere exciting or exotic so why even answer this...boring, I know!

TV shows I like to watch:

The Office
So You Think You Can Dance
24
Chuck
The Amazing Race

Places I've been to:

1. Colorado is my favorite
2. Canada
3. Europe (Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Norway and Austria)
4. Mexico
5. Haiti (never been so scared in my life)

Fave Foods:

1. Specialty Coffee Drinks (they count as FOOD)
2. Desserts--any kind! ;)
3. Knoephla, Sausage and Sauerkraut
4. Dumpling Soup
5. Meatballs, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy
The thing about me is this...I LOVE food, pretty much any kind of food. I LOVE it!

Books I've Especially Appreciated Lately:

1. Streams in the Desert
2. Fresh Faith
3. My Utmost for His Highest
4. Praying the Names of God
5. I Come Quitely to Meet You
Each of these have had a profound impact on me during this time! Thank you, Jesus!

Things I Enjoy:

1. Being a Mom
2. Coffee Shops
3. Laughing with Friends (read as...me making them laugh by being a Goon)
4. When the kids are finally in bed and it is
just Matt and I watching our TV shows!!!
5. Shopping


I tag Courtney at CampGirdwood, Heather at Chronicles of MotherHood, and K-Mum at Tacheny Adventure

Thoughts about death from our children...

First please let me thank you all for your prayers and kind words.

When you go through a death in the family with your children, they say some of the most amazing things. Like our 9 yodd said, "You know, Mom, I have been sad before, but I have never been this sad." Both of us sat their with big tears rolling down our cheeks, and I told her it is ok to feel sad. It is ok to cry. We went on to talk about how Uncle Neil is now in heaven and he isn't in pain anymore. Her thoughts on that were this..."I understand why God wanted to have Jesus die to come live with Him in heaven because He was His real Son. But I don't understand why He wanted to take Uncle Neil, because he wasn't like His real son." We were able to talk about how we are His real sons and daughters. Just as much as God loved Jesus...that is how much He loves us as His children! This daughter thinks out loud, so it is so nice to be able to follow-up with her thoughts. A couple of our other daughters are the type that process things within. Our 6yodd is so sensitive. She is so concerned about what Auntie Ardella is going to do now. She wrote her a letter today that says..."We love you and are praying for you. I hope you get to do some things with us so you can have a happy heart."

Our 11 yodd has a very deep spiritual side to her. This morning during our Bible time. We were studying God as Adonay--Our Lord, Master. We talked about how He is Sovereign. The conversation led into how she had asked her Sunday School class to pray for Uncle Neil on Sunday morning. She talked about how her SS teacher had prayed that the Lord would heal her uncle...and then later that same day the Lord completely healed him. He had heard their prayers and healed him. What amazed me was that she realized that the Lord's Sovereign will was to completely heal Uncle Neil in heaven rather than here on earth. I thought she was going to ask why didn't God answer their prayers...but she didn't. She has such deep spiritual understanding and she knew that the Lord did indeed answer our prayers. She has been working on a poster for him. It says Jehovah Shalom on it. She has looked up as many verses she could about God Our Peace. She was crying really hard because she didn't get it done in time for him to see it. We were able to talk about how the Lord knew she was working on that and how He is going to use it to bring comfort to Auntie Ardella now.

These are the times that I appreciate that we home school. If the kids were gone during the day...we wouldn't have these moments together. We were able to pray together, cry together and talk about this together. Some times with kids it is so hard to understand what they are truly thinking, so I am glad that I can be here to catch it as it is expressed. And together we continue to grow.

My dearly loved uncle is home in the arms of Jesus. Tonight he heard Our Savior say to him, "Well done my good and faithful servant!"

We rejoice that he has no more pain, no more suffering, and no longer has to fight cancer. Our hearts are full of sorrow because he will be dearly missed here on earth. He and my aunt were an inseparable pair. She and my mom were able to be by his side tonight holding his hands as he took his final breath here on earth.

I know that one day we will meet again, because of the security that I have of salvation in Jesus Christ. My uncle believed on the Lord Jesus Christ and was saved. I too believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, because of this I can say we will see each other again in all of heaven's majesty.

Nesting--Adoption Style...

Well, what does a girl do when a referral for a baby doesn't come to be?? Allow me to tell you! :)

She starts with shopping! Sunday evening I found myself wandering meaninglessly through Walmart, a little dazed and confused about what had just happened. Over the course of the weekend as I sat at home waiting to learn what we were to do next, my mind raced through all of the things that I should get done before leaving. Top of the list were things like...I haven't had my hair cut since last January...I should get that taken care of. Another thought was...oh man, my eyebrows need some serious loving. On that thought, I sat in the cosmetics aisle at Walmart looking for a home eyebrow waxing kit. Then I decided that I really need a new tweezers. A girl can spend a good 45 minutes searching for the right tweezers and home waxing kit. There might even be something therapeutic about it! Focusing on eyebrows led only to the realization that I haven't bought any new mascara for quite awhile, and come to think of it...I don't really like the stuff that I bought last time anyway. Do you girls out there realize how many gazillions of choices there are for one's eyelashes?!?! Do I want to volumize or lengthen? Do I want to curl or extend? Do I want black or brown or brown/black, or maybe soft black? Do I want waterproof or not? Hmmmmmm...these difficult things to ponder, led to another 45 minutes spent starring at mascara packages! I believe there might even be something therapeutic in that as well! About this time I realize that the ice cream that I put in my cart upon walking into Walmart is now melting...so I made my final decisions and headed home.

Later in the week I was at Sam's Club...hmmm, what do I need from Sam's that will help me feel more prepared next time "the call" comes? This led to me buying a little boy outfit, in case we don't have time to pick something up on our way to get the baby. I also bought one can of formula. There isn't really anything that makes a whole lot of logical sense behind the couple of things that I picked up. Because now I have a can of formula, but don't own any bottles...so...well, don't ask me why...I don't have any answers. OK...I could actually come up with a reason to my madness, but some of you may not have ADHD tendencies which could lead to problems following my "reasoning". So let's just celebrate that I now own a can of formula and a baby boy outfit!

What are some of the other things that had to be taken care of before I get "the call" once again from our social worker? Well of course, my hair has been in disarray for many months now. Ponytails are very appropriate for the soccer mom that I am all summer long, but now I need some cleaning up. I arranged a time for my dear friend to do my hair...not only did she do my hair, we got to catch up on life, she fed us all lunch, our kids were able to play with each other, and she even did the girls hair! Whew...friends are so great! Thanks a ton, Monica! As she was doing my hair and I could do nothing but sit there...I was hit with a wave of exhaustion. I never realized how exhausting just "thinking" could be! Mental energy is a draining thing!


I came home with full intentions of taking a well deserved nap. I ended up becoming so disgusted with the mess of our home. All of a sudden, out of nowhere came this energy that I haven't had in well...lets just say a r-e-a-l-l-y l-o-n-g time! I was a cleaning freak! We are talking scrubbing the tub, the floor, the sinks, the toilet, basically anything that I could put Comet on and use a scrub brush on was fair game for this cleaning freak! It feels so good to have such sparkling cleanliness surrounding me! (Don't burst my bubble here by reminding me that there are still about 47 loads of laundry that need to be done. I will keep chipping away at that.) :) It was very much like pregnancy "nesting", but only better...I wasn't out of breath the whole time.

Last weekend was a great trial run! This week I have made some progress in preparing for the "real deal". We saw how quickly things can happen and how utterly unprepared we truly are. I will continue to chip away on our "preparedness" issues. The whole thing is this...if we do go out and get a diaper bag ready, set up a crib, buy the bottles and pacifiers, yada-yada-yada...it will then turn into us not getting a call for another two years. We'll sit here starring at our "preparedness" only growing more impatient as the days pass by. So I figure if I just chip away at it a little bit at a time, then when "the call" does actually come...I'll feel a little less frantic! :) Sometimes none of this even feels like it is really our life. This journey is so "off of the radar" that Matt and I are just going with the flow of it. One day will come that we will post pictures of a little bundle of joy that has been placed in our arms. I will sit here with my mouth dropped still not believing it is our life! I will be even more amazed at how Great is our God!!!

Promises...

I promise to update this blog later today! I am feeling very guilty for not sharing anything new for so many days. I do have blog posts racing through my mind, so I will be updating it later today. For now I am going to go have some quiet time with the Lord over a cup of coffee and biscotti.

Don't forget to sip away and pray for our adoption!!!!

Whew...what a whirlwind weekend we just had!

It started on Friday late afternoon when we had a talk with our social worker that we had been matched with a baby boy that was due November 9. The b-mom liked our family and things looked like they were progressing well. Some questions remained, but things were going to come together next week. We were excited yet guarded.

Well, Saturday morning I got an early morning call from our social worker...the b-mom's water had broke in the middle of the night and she was in labor. I had already been up for over an hour...laying in bed praying for the b-mom not knowing that was why. I couldn't believe that the Lord had woke me up early to start praying for her. We were suppose to wait for a call to inform us what to do next, but start to make plans to travel. I tried to do as much as we could, but kind of didn't really know what I was suppose to do. Have you ever felt that way?!?! We did not tell the girls anything about this. To them it was just another day...we went to a parade had lunch together at McDonald's. Our attempt at "celebrating" was that we bought the girls Happy Meals as a sort of "secret celebration"!

Our social worker is so great...she called every few hours just to let us know what was going on...which was basically nothing. As the hours went on, I began to feel that the mom was changing her mind. We didn't know if it was that or if she hadn't actually delivered yet. We just sat there waiting for any new information. I had found tickets online for us to book as soon as we were told to. I had laid out clothes to put in a suitcase, and thought through where the girls would go. It was a crazy couple of days.

We went to church today with our cell phone in hand...still waiting for a call. When we came home from church the phone rang and it was our social worker. She explained to me that the mom decided to parent the baby boy. He was born a little bit sick (being he was 5 weeks early) which the social workers believe had a big part in her deciding to parent. The whole time we had just been praying for her, the baby and for the Lord's will to be done.

We rest tonight in His Sovereign will. We know that He will bring our children into our arms...when the time is His perfect time. We feel honored that He brought us into this situation to cover her in prayer when she needed it most. Please continue to pray for this b-mom and baby boy...I don't know much about her. I don't know if she knows the Lord. I do know that in the coming days she will be blessed by our prayers, as will the precious new life that could use our prayers for his strength.

My only regret is that I stayed home yesterday waiting for the call. My plan had been to travel with my sisters to go visit my uncle who is at the end stages of his battle against cancer. I had wanted to go let him and my aunt know how very, very much I love them. For some reason, God wanted me to stay here. Please be praying for my aunt and uncle in these final days. He is in a lot of pain and she is there by his side.

So what next...in my humanness it would be easy to think that this whole adoption thing must not be for us. However, what we are experiencing in the Lord is amazing! I know I say it over and over again...but He is doing a mighty work in us. None of this is for loss. We just keep clinging to Him! On the day that He does place His chosen child into our arms...we will know it is from Him alone, it is in His perfect will! And trust me...that baby will be LOVED ON like you wouldn't believe! :)

I hesitated to share this whole saga with you...however it is part of our journey. And since I have been trying my best to keep it real for you...I decided that it should be shared. For those of you that know us---know our children---please do not talk about this around them. They do not know anything about the events of this weekend. We have decided that we can endure the ups and downs of adoption, but we want to protect them from continued heartache. When we board a plane to go pick up God's chosen child for us...well then, we will tell the girls with great pleasure!

It feels like a "retreat"...

Those were the words Matt just told me yesterday about what I have done with our bedroom. For the last nearly 12 years of marriage our bedroom has been the "dumping grounds"...like when people are coming we quick throw everything in our room and close the door. :) On Tuesday morning I decided to rearrange the room just in case we get called by our social worker. The way it was set up the baby's crib would have been right by the door, and that just wouldn't work. So while Matt was working on Tuesday...I was busy huffing and puffing the furniture around the room. I can not believe the change the layout has made in the whole "feel" of the entire room. It really is beautiful now. It does feel like a "retreat", so I couldn't believe it when Matt actually said it. I had always read that as wives we are suppose to create a retreat in the master bedroom. I have always thought that was a great idea, but not an attainable idea for me! (I mean, come on, where in the world are all of the dirty clothes suppose to go???) I still want to paint the wall that the bed is up against...but am contemplating the color.

Anyhoo...just wanted you to know that I feel like I actually accomplished something this week...And it sure feels good!

I am 83% Addicted to Coffee

100% Free Personals from JustSayHi

So this isn't anything new to most of you! I have said it many times...I LOVE COFFEE!!! It isn't just the caffeine...it's the warmth of the cup in my hands, the aroma that fills the house, the way it bubbles when you pour the first cup...Ahhhh! There are just some things in life that bring great joy...and coffee is one of them. If I could afford going to a coffee shop everyday...I would totally be there! In the meantime...I'll just sit in my home and sip away! :) Now that you know my inner-most thoughts towards coffee...how about every single time you bring your coffee cup to your lips you whisper a prayer for our adoption? I know I am not the only coffee lover out there...so I really could have a huge prayer force behind us if you would all start doing this. How about it...are you in?

K-Mums 'n da howze...

So if you want to visit one rockin' blog Kim's in the one to go to. Of all the blogs out there...hers is now the permy blog on my computer! The deal is...she just added the most rockin' music on the whole wide blogosphere. Not only does she ROCK...her tunes totally ROCK! Warning---you will not be able to sit still once you click over---it will be a dance party right there in your office chair (Angela this one's for you)! Trust me! It has lit up the entire house...we are all dancing...

Thanks, K-Mums!

Work Perks...

Now being a homeschooling mom there are not any "employee discounts" or "employee contests" that I get to take part in...however, my husband is always willing to share his work perks with me! He is so wonderful!!! I told you about how he has become a pizza delivery guy by night. The highlight of this "adventure" is what he brings home for us to indulge in. Well Saturday night he brought home to most delicious treat just for me. It was a buffalo chicken pizza with Alfredo sauce on thin crust! MMMMmmmmmm...it was so delicious! The best part was that it was his little surprise for me. I love how cute he is to know that I love Alfredo sauce and buffalo wings! :) This may not make any sense to any of you, but I just wanted to share how great I think he is! It is also great because we have turned the fact that he has to be away from home on some evenings into something exciting.

If we had our choice in life....money would be of no object. However we are dealing with reality, and reality is that we are in a situation where money matters. :) I know it is hard on Matt to come home from work and change into his pizza uniform, give us all kisses, and whisk out the door. But to be honest with you...I really respect him for going this extra mile for our family. He isn't complaining about it. He doesn't grumble about having to go work there...or having to be in the back washing dishes there. Instead we have turned it into a highlight of what he will come home with! I admire his hard work ethic, his determination, his perserverance, and his wonderful attitude towards life!!

Last week he had to work on Ashleigh's birthday. He felt horrible about it, because he loves being with us more than anything. In order to make it a special night for her anyway here is what he did...I had the girls upstairs getting ready for bed, when the doorbell rang. I told Ashleigh she had better answer it because it was her birthday. There at the door stood the hottest pizza guy I had ever laid eyes on! He told her that he had heard she was a very special girl that day and that he had a very special pizza delivery just for her. He handed her, her very own speciality pizza. We all broke into singing "Happy Birthday" and she stood there with a smile from ear to ear. I love how creative he is and how he makes the best of every situation!!!

It's a good thing that I love food...love pizza...and consider myself incredibly blessed!