Wouldn't Change a Thing...

Thank you all for your kinds words of support! You all bless me so much! I wanted to make that last post in order to keep our journey experience real for you. The situation with the siblings has been a very real part of our journey. I want to clarify that I didn't want to give up on adoption...I wanted to give up on the waiting part of it! How would that be possible...um, it wouldn't, so I can't give up! :)

The most amazing part in all of the situations that we have been presented with and have not happened is this...as the Lord reveals His will for it to not work out, there is a significant degree of humbleness that the Lord would have chosen us to be the ones to come into the picture to pray these little ones through. In each situation our hearts have become deeply touched by these unknown children (unknown in the latest situations). As it becomes evident that they were not meant for our family, there is a bit of disappointment. But I am surprised that there isn't despair, anger, or "whys". We fully believe in the Sovereignty of God. We know that He is working out His will for our family. The biggest source of anguish in it all was when we lost the boys in Haiti. We lost them because of endless lies and deep deception, and that was hard. It was hard to be so hurt by people that we put our complete trust in. We had invested a lot into their ministry and into those boys. They also ended up with a significant amount of money...not nearly as much as many of the other families have lost but to us in this journey it was still a significant amount. The way that it all went down was very difficult. The way they are carrying on in their ways is still very hard to see. We won't ever fully understand that whole deal, but God does.

Even through all of the ups and downs of this journey...I wouldn't trade any of it for anything! NONE OF IT! I can say this when we don't even have a placement, because of what the Lord is doing in us through it all. I know there are so many people that say they could never do this, but I wish so badly that they just would. This journey of faith has been beyond what words can express. Stepping out of the boat in faith and literally feeling like we are walking on water at times. Matt and I were just talking about it last night and neither of us would change any of this. We said, "ya, we could have had Matt pick up a second job and get that second car that we would love...but really what good would that be?" Nothing in this world can replace having the Lord penetrate your heart and produce things within you that you never thought even possible! We are experiencing Him work miracles! We can see His hand so evidently that it overwhelms us!

H-E-L-L-O-O-O-O...

Yes, I hear you loud and clear! I know...enough already with the silly quizzes! Ah, but it was fun while it lasted! :) I am easily entertained. Betsy suggested that I start buying the Teen magazines again to get all of the quizzes I want. Now wouldn't that be pathetic if I traded in my Paula Deen magazine subscription for TEEN. I am easily entertained, but trust me...food entertains me waay more than quizzes do! I'll stick to reading recipes! :) I will try to limit myself in posting ridiculous quizzes for you all. :)

So what is up with our adoption? Well, here we are...waiting, waiting, waiting! I am still filled with wonder. I will tell you that about a week ago I seriously thought that I couldn't handle this anymore. I needed to know what was happening. I was so tempted to give up...however, that is not an option. We know, that we know, that we know we are suppose to adopt. The Lord reassured me that this isn't about me. He reassured me that He is producing in me a degree of perseverance that I have yet to experience. I am one who usually is able to figure out a way to make things happen. I am persistent. I am excitable. I get excited with something and run with it! That has been the case with our adoption, but now all we can do is wait. There isn't anything "extra" that I can be doing, except staying on my knees before Him.

I haven't given you an update for awhile because we were waiting for the Lord to reveal His will regarding a certain situation we had been presented with. It involved a sibling group whose parents rights had been terminated. We wanted to make sure that we were remaining open to the Lord's will. We didn't want to be swayed by others fears and concerns. We had to deal with our own fears with the Lord, before we could handle other's. Things became extremely intense for awhile. It seemed as though they might actually become a blessed part of our family, however the Lord planned otherwise. At this point a family member has stepped forward for these precious children. We are once again humbled that the Lord laid them so heavily upon our hearts and asked us to cover them in prayer. The fact that the Lord made it so clear to us that we were to pursue them was amazing in itself! The fact that we were even being considered for them was amazing in itself. The waiting was intense, the wondering was intense. And once again He was showing us that this isn't about us.

I will still be praying for their little lives. I will pray for the Lord's Sovereign will to be done in their lives. Now we just wait for Him to show us the next rock in this journey. I can look back up all of these "rocks" where He is increasing my faith along this journey. It brings me great comfort, encouragement and strength to press on. I wait with expectation for what He is working out right this very minute! Praise Jesus...He has been, He is, and He will continue to work mightily on our behalf even when we can't see it!

There's the update...and the reason for many of the silly quizzes.

What Season Girl Are You?

You Are Fall!

Thoughtful Expressive Creative Poetic Smart

What Season Woman Are You?

Black Friday!!!!!!

A day like today is a dream come true once a year for a girl like me! Ahhhh!!! I love it!

I already have a few hours of shopping done and I will be heading back out for some more...once my pot of fresh coffee is done brewing. :) I am the kind of girl that doesn't buy things unless they are on sale. I absolutely love a good deal! Today I have found numerous good deals, and I am exhilirated by it! We have a tight budget, so when I find a Christmas present for the girls that I know they will love at a really cheap price...well, that makes me so happy! I would love to share my finds with you, but the kids read this blog sometimes...

Hope that you are all having a fun day of shopping!

I soooo wanna know your song!!!!

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Macarena by Los Del Rio

When I dance they call me macarena And the boys, they say that I'm buena They all want me, they can't have me So they all come and dance beside me

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

What are you?

You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe

But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites. And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear.

What Kind of Coffee Girl Are You?

FYI...

I am so far behind, I think I'm in first!

National Adoption Awareness Day and The Cry of the Orphan--

I have added a link on the side under "Must Read Adoption Links" to The Cry of the Orphan. Please go there and listen to the broadcasts from FamilyLife. There are broadcasts from Crown Financial's Money Matters and Focus on the Family as well. These broadcasts will grip your heart and reach your soul. Those of you in the adoption journey will be greatly blessed by their stories and encouragement. There were so many things mentioned that have been exactly the same things that I have expressed, and so many things that I have yet to learn. This is the greatest faith building journey I could ever imagine being on! On this National Adoption Awareness Day...please, please, please spend some time looking into ways that you could can reach the cries of the orphans! Listen...Be challenged...Be changed!

Yahweh Roi--

Yahweh Roi (yah-WEH row-EE)--The Lord My Shepherd

This is the name of God that we have been studying this week. I find it amazing as I am going through our Bible time how the Lord uses the material to penetrate my heart. Every week the name that we study applies directly to what I need to know of the Lord. This week He has been revealing such blessed things to me. I, in turn, get to teach them to the girls. We started talking about a shepherd and how he cares for his sheep. We talked about how he keeps them safe at night in an enclosed area. Then the Lord gave me this beautiful picture.-- We are His sheep. When a lamb goes missing from the flock, the shepherd goes out after that one. He searches for that lamb. When He finds that lamb He gently carries it back to the flock. If that little lamb is in danger or hurt...He gently cares for it. He is Our Shepherd and right now He is out after our "little lamb" that is missing from "our flock". He has us (as His sheep) safe and secured in our home, and that little one needs to be brought into the safety of this flock.

In Ezekiel 34:11-16a it says..."This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak..."

Wherever our little lambs are He is going to bring it to us. It feels like clouds and darkness right now because we can not see what He is doing. But He is out rescuing our lambs in His arms. He is going to bind up its wounds and strengthen it. He is going to bring it to our flock where He will continue to be our Shepherd. Isaiah 40:11 says "He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to his heart: He gently leads those that have young."

Wherever our little lambs are, My Shepherd is carrying them close to His heart. He has and will continue to gently lead all of us that are parents of young. What an encouragement that is. Thank you, Jesus! When the wait intensifies itself, when I wonder how this is all going to work out, when I am flooded with fear, when I am overcome with weariness-- I can remember that He is Yahweh Roi!!!



(photos taken from flickr by Essjay NZ and timparkinson)

6 Clicks-Away...

from hitting the 1,000th view to my profile! I should give out some sort of award, but since I won't have the foggiest idea of who clicked my profile for the 1,000th hit I won't. Whoever you are...celebrate this monumental occasion all by yourself!

CONGRATS FROM ALL OF US HERE AT STEPPING OUT OF THE BOAT!!!!

Somethings in life are just so fun...

And the Salad Shooter is one of them! Last year for Christmas I got this little treasure. It was from my sister who always has wished that she owned one. I would never have imagined that I would adore my salad shooter, but I do. Alas, a kitchen tool that makes the kitchen fun! Men and some women (you know who you are) adore real actual heavy-duty tools, saws, blades...things that could actually cause bodily harm in a severe way. The Salad Shooter is just a fun little gadget...which shouldn't cause bodily harm. Tonight I sliced up some potatoes and fried them up with sausage. I had so much fun putting them in there and pressing the button. Maybe it was a little way to get some bound up tension out...shooting potato slices into a sizzling bath of butter. I am not a big salad eater so don't worry if you aren't either. This little guy could be called the Kitchen Shooter. Not only does it shoot potatoes, it shoots some mean shredded zucchini which turns into a delicious loaf of scrumptious zucchini bread.

Today I am choosing to enjoy the little things in life...I am actually trying to force myself to! Therefore, you receive an entire blog post which sings the praises of a little kitchen toy that I enjoyed today.

This has got to be one of the most boring posts EVER...I am fully aware of that. But you have read it thus far...so now I must apologize! I am trying to keep myself busy and distracted...sorry that you had to take the brunt of that!

Hope there is still some blogger love out there for me! :)

Laughing, Tears and More Coffee...

To tears I went once again! I received an email last night from my friend from church. The tears started flowing when I read what our 6yodd said she would ask God. Sometimes I forget that it isn't just me that is in this journey. The girls are right here with us. They are experiencing the Lord and His wonder too! The Lord is increasing their faith while they wait for their siblings.

Below is the email--

How is it going on the adoption front? I find myself drinking a lot of coffee! My mom laughed at me the other day and said you can pray without drinking the coffee. But somehow the two are connected for me. Your faith in our Father inspires me!!

At church we were talking about Samson and how God gave him what he wanted and I asked the class "If you could ask God for anything what would it be?" Your sweet sweet daughter made me cry when she raised her hand and said "I would ask him to match us with our baby!" I prayed right away Dear Father please answer her prayer soon.

Your days are getting long I am sure. I want to help you in someway, if you need a day just to be alone or whatever I would love the girls to come here and hang out with us!! Or if you need someone at the last minute when you get that phone call please, please have our number on hand. We would love to have your girls here. Just know that our door is always open.

I was completely encouraged and had to laugh when she said that she is drinking more and more coffee! Thank you, Tonya, for your sweet email! I can not tell you all how much I appreciate your prayers!

Apples, Apples, More Apples and...Coffee

So today my dear friend (who wouldn't leave me alone about making applesauce together) and I made a gazillion quarts of applesauce! Seriously people...I really do think it was close to a gazillion. Ok...maybe it was more like 100 quarts, but it felt like a gazillion. We worked for the entire afternoon. They just kept on coming...more and more apples! I started out tired with a headache, but after a couple of Cokes and a couple of Tylenol...I was feeling much better! That and the fact that she knows how to get to my heart...she started asking me adoption questions!

I have to tell you about this dear friend. Last week she came over to tell me something and in her hand was a cute little gift bag. Now I am a girl that loves, Loves, LOVES gifts! You want me to feel loved...bring on a gift! Little gifts, big gifts...it really doesn't matter. They perk me up like you wouldn't believe. A little candle to a Kitchen-Aid mixer...I love surprise gifts. (Ok! Enough already...you get the idea, I know...sorry!) :) So my friend tells me the little thing she needed to talk about and then hands me her little gift bag. Do you wanna know what was hidden inside that precious bag?? Oh well it was two bags of Starbucks coffee--Regular and Decaf House Blend. And with those two bags of coffee came a committment from her that she is going to keep me stocked with Starbucks coffee until the Lord completes our adoption. How sweet is that!?!?

Now that we are sitting here with nothing big and exciting on the adoption burner...it can feel like people forget that we are adopting. It doesn't feel that way to us in the least. Every day I fight myself to carry on like normal. I fight to not allow the dreaming of our adoption consume my thoughts. I cry out to God from the depths of my heart for the Lord to fulfill His desire for our family! The coffee was not only a pick me up, it was also a gentle reminder from the Lord that He hears my heart's cries. He knows the longings of my heart and He is working!

Thank you, sweet friend, for the afternoon of fellowship, laughing, crying and love! We will be eating applesauce until the cows come home...but I will remember this day and how the Lord used it to encourage me! Thank you for standing beside us, for praying, and encouraging me in the waiting. A good cup of Starbucks and who wouldn't feel encouraged!?!?

Asking with Earnestness---

I just read this quote from Richard Foster and it seems to be prevalent to where we are at. Supplication means to ask with earnestness, with intensity, with perseverance. It is a declaration that we are deadly serious about this prayer business. We are going to keep at it and not give up. John Calvin wrote, "We must repeat the same supplications not twice or three times only, but as often as we have need, a hundred and a thousand times...We must never be weary in waiting for God's help."

November 9, 2007--Today was the due date of the baby boy we had been matched with. It seems sort of strange to hit this day and have no idea what is happening with our adoption journey. I continue to ask the Lord with intensity for His will to be done with our adoption journey. I can not grow weary, although there are times that I must admit that I have been extremely weary. I will press on...I will seek His heart...I will wait in expectation!

One thing I do:...I press on toward the goal to win the prize. ~Philippians 3:13-14

This [one thing] I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning" ~Lam. 3:21-23

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple" ~Psalm 27:4

One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ~Phil. 3:13-14

Who is God???

Have you ever wondered what God looks like? Well, according to our 3 yodd...He looks like daddy. Yesterday she said, "God looks like Daddy...God is Daddy." Her profound statement was followed by, "So then who is the Mommy?"

Ahh...the eyes of a 3 year old!

The wonder of waiting...

Can someone explain to me what the key to waiting is? Why is it so hard? Waiting...waiting...waiting...does anyone ever master the art of waiting?!?! I am trying to decide which is harder-- knowing the children we are waiting for or not knowing anything about him/her? When we were committed to the boys, we had hundreds of pictures and hours of video to pull us through. Yes, seeing their precious little faces would make us miss them more...but at times it would boost the spirit in the waiting. Now we wait for the complete unknown...don't know the gender, the timing, where he/she is. Sometimes the unknown does make it easier to wait. We knew the conditions of what the boys were living in and it tore at our hearts. The knowledge of their conditions added so many more worries...worries like if they were even getting enough food. Now we don't know where our baby is, who is carrying the baby, how are they taking care of him/her? As you can see...I have not come to a conclusion about which style of adoption waiting is easier or harder!

All I know is that some days are so much easier than others, and some days the waiting seems so intense! I do know that the Lord is right here with us in the waiting. He doesn't leave me to do this on my own. I also know that He is working in the waiting. I may not ever know all that He is doing on our behalf during this time, but I have complete trust that He is working. My God is a God of Miracles, and He is working one right now! I don't know what it is going to look like, but I wait in expectation!

I waited patiently for the Lord, He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand! He put a new song in my mouth, and hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Psalm 40:1-3

Edited to add: So, I posted this post then went to read my devotional from Streams in the Desert...Can you believe that it was about waiting!?! Oh, God is soooo Good!

Here is an excerpt--

When the cloud remained...the Israelites...did not set out(Numbers 9:10).

This was the ultimate test of obedience.

The psalmist said, "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry" (Psalm 40:1). And what God did for the Old Testament saints, He will do for believers down through the ages, yet He will often keep us waiting.
When God sends no answer and "the cloud remains," we must wait. Yet we can do so with the full assurance of God's provision of manna, water from the rock, shelter, and protection from our enemies. He never keeps us at our post without assuring us of His presence or sending us daily supplies. You must wait where you are until the cloud clearly begins to move. Wait for the Lord to give you His good pleasure! He will not be late!

He is El Roi...The Lord sees exactly what I am facing and what I am feeling. He comes to my side and answers me with encouragement like this! In the middle of the night one of the girls was up feeling sick. I got up with her, comforted her, and gave her some medicine. After I tucked her into bed, I went to crawl back into my bed. I began thinking...why are we even moving forward with adopting? What are we thinking? Why don't we just forget it and go through life with these precious girls? And then here it is...waiting is the ultimate test of obedience. It would be easy to think, "Nothing is happening...we might as well give up." It would be easier to say forget it and move on with life. My middle of the night thoughts were not of God. If we did give up, what would we miss out on? How many times have I said that this journey isn't about us...it is so much more. It is precisely what the Lord is using to produce in us His desires. He is going deep with our dependence upon Him in this. I am not going to give up. I will wait right here for His good pleasure!

Praise the Lord for His Faithfulness! Please keep praying as you sip your coffee. Pray for my continued dependence on Him, for Him to work miraculously on our behalf, and that I will not grow weary in the waiting!