A Very Special Day...

Today is a very special day for a very special daughter! Happy Birthday to our Precious Little Princess!!!

You have the ability to light up a room...your giggle is contagious...your imagination is brilliant...your heart is tender...and you, my dear, are one precious little girl! I love being your Mommy! You melt my heart! I love the way you love the Lord! I love your sensitivity towards others! I love your love for life!!!

Thank you for being my daughter!!!! You truly are a blessing to our family!!!!

Follow Up regarding comments in previous post--

I wrote this out in the comments for the previous post, but decided that I should just enter it as a new post. I wanted to make sure you could all read it.

Heather and Kathy--Thank you for following up with your comments. There is nothing as heartbreaking as having to release our boys. We will forever and ever love them. Given the current circumstances, before the Lord, we can not continue on. I know that He is leading each family in a different path than the other...we will follow Him in this. Is it agonizing...yes! Does it hurt...yes! Do we have peace about it...yes! We are simply following the Lord in this...even when it doesn't make sense. We tried so hard to fight for the boys. We tried to do everything we could, but there was not cooperation from some in our efforts....thus this is the outcome of this nightmare.

1st Anonymous--I know who you are, and I love you! I thank you for believing in this journey and encouraging me along the way. You bring me joy and laughter...even though you are a little cooky! You are true friend...and I think the world of you!

Kimmie--I would absolutely love to come to your house and sip coffee with you from some of your adorable mugs. (I have a thing for coffee mugs) I would rest in the beauty of your barn and enjoy your presence.

Jill--you are such a sweet friend and I thank you so much for standing by me in this. I needed someone to confide in when nothing made sense...you "listened" and prayed. Thank you! I can not tell you how much I admire you. You are a beautiful woman of the Lord and He shines through you.

Trisha--I appreciate your courage in speaking the truth. I can not thank you enough for the sacrifice that you are making for my freedom. I know you are handling this with your husband away at war and my heart hurts for you in that. HUGS!

Joni--Thank you for your love and prayers. I am so sorry that we have to be in this situation together. I appreciate your courage as well.

Courtney--HUGS! I love you and couldn't imagine life without you. I admire your courage. Press on dear friend!!!

Shannon--I can not express how grateful I was for what you did to offer help to us in this. I so wish that could have been the outcome. It was not our choice to make and eventhough we tried, we came against opposition. How true your words are that He is at work!

Sara--thank you for your prayers and support. I can't wait for you to get your daughter.

Beth--you are so sweet! I can't wait for you to get your son! Thank you for your kind words and prayers. You are wonderful!

Essy--you are always so willing to pray us through, and I appreciate that so much in you. Thank you!

Ethel--I would love some of your squash! You have an exquisite garden this year, and I am so proud of you! Thank you for your countless prayers and your steady support. You are wonderful!

To all of you...thank you for your love, support, and prayers. It is because of your prayers that the Lord is sustaining us through this. Have I thought about putting the whole situation into words on my blog...of course. I have formulated it in my mind over and over. It is so confusing that it is hard to put into words, and now there are threats of lawsuits from some if there is continued talk of the truth. We will do what the Lord leads us to do in this. We are working with our social worker on a possible domestic adoption...because we know we are suppose to adopt. We just do not know who or where anymore. We are resting in His Sovereignty. This entire journey has brought us to a place with the Lord that we could not have imagined. Without pain there is not growth...so for that we are grateful for the trials. We are experiencing Christ in a beautiful way. None of this is without reason. He is bringing about good, when there doesn't seem to be any. He is Holy! He is Faithful! He is Sovereign! He is All-Powerful! He is All-Knowing! He is our Comforter! Our Rock! Our Shelter! Our Sustainer! Our Alpha and Omega! He is our Love! He is Everything to me!!!!

When you don't have anything nice to say...

don't say anything at all!!!!!

EVERLASTING GOD!!!!

Do you ever have moments where you are just completely awed by the presence of God? Yesterday I was in the car by myself for an hour. I was traveling a well known, nothing special, same old--same old road. I looked up and out of nowhere I see a small strip of rainbow in the sky. It was vibrant in color and just radiating it's beauty. I looked all around trying to see if I could see anymore of it, but nope...only this small chunk peeking through the clouds just at me. Immediately I felt the presence of God...the rainbow is a sign that He will ALWAYS keep His promises. I have not doubted His Sovereignty in this whole ordeal...nor have I ever felt abandoned or forsaken. I fully believe that we are here by the hand of God...what we do from here, we don't know. We just keep waiting on the Lord. In fact, just last night Matt and I were discussing different plans and Matt's answer was "Wait and See". Anyway, I had the radio on and the song Everlasting God (watch and listen below) came on. It was simply amazing! It was such a breathe of fresh air in the heaviness of my heart. He is right here with us! We are not alone! He is the Defender! He is our Comforter! He gives us strength! He is my EVERLASTING GOD!!!!!!!

So this is the post that I have been dreading writing...because I'm not really sure how to compose it. As you can tell, my heart has been heavy and I haven't been able to post. I will try to shine some light on the situation now. We have come to find out that we have been involved in a web of deception with our adoption facilitator. It has been horrifying and overwhelming. There have been lies upon lies...too many to even count. The bottom line is that the children are not receiving the care that we had been set up to believe. While I can understand evil in this world with adults lying and misbehaving in atrocious ways...I will not ever comprehend how they could do this with the lives of children at stake. Please pray for the children at the orphanage. Our desire above all else is for these kids to be safe. They are innocent in all of this and they don't deserve it. We are doing what we can to be their voice and protect them from further harm. In doing so we have jeopardized the adoption of Juvenson and Esaie. We know that we are being their defender in all of this, and their voice because they don't have one. We know that we are obeying what the Lord has called us to do by being that defender. This isn't the way we had envisioned this playing out, but our ways are not His ways! We have dreamed Isaiah and Elijah into our lives. We have invested a huge chunk of our hearts into them....not only us but the girls have in a huge way. This is another area where I can deal with the pain because unfortunately I have come to understand what an evil world we live in...however our girls have not had to live through this kind of thing before. Together we will press on in the journey the Lord has placed us on. Our hope is in Him Alone! He is their Protector, their Defender, and their Loving Father. He is going to bring good out of this situation...we don't see how right now, but He does. We are covering them in our prayers and will forever hold them in our hearts rather than our arms. We love them and always will!

Praise You in the Storm

Waiting...

Well, right now we are just still waiting...

We are waiting on the Lord. We are waiting to get into IBESR. They are gathering the boys' social histories and assembling a file for them. They will put their file with our file and together both files become one then enter into IBESR.

We are waiting on the Lord to see this through...please pray that our file will enter IBESR soon if that is the Lord's will. All we want is for His will to be done in this adoption.

We so appreciate your prayers...please keep praying for the boys!