How this works...

I am going to answer Betsy's question for everyone. The next office we will enter is IBESR (Haitian Social Services). That is a huge step. After that then there are some courts...2nd Legal, Parquet, MOI, passports. I can't even explain them all nor do I know the exact order in which they all fall. All I know is that we need to get into IBESR for the boys to become "ours". We will just take it one step at a time, believing God's hand is on our boys while we wait and our paperwork as it processes.

To be honest, sometimes I wish I knew exactly how this was all going to go down...I wish that I could mark off each day on the calendar and know how long each office would take. That isn't for me to know...it is developing in me a deeper faith. There isn't anything that I can do but believe. I just spent good time with the Lord hashing these things out before the Lord.

Oswald Chambers said--"The bewildering call of God comes into our lives as well. The call of God can never be understood absolutely or explained externally; it is a call that can only be perceived and understood internally by our true inner-nature. The call of God is like the call of the sea--no one hears it except the person who has the nature of the sea in him. What God calls us to cannot be definitely stated, because His call is simply to be His friend to accomplish His own purposes. Our real test is in truly believing that God knows what He desires. The things that happen do not happen by chance--they happen entirely by the decree of God. God is sovereignly working out His own purposes.

He goes on to say--"If we are in fellowship and oneness with God and recognize that He is taking us into His purposes, then we will no longer strive to find out what His purposes are. As we grow in the Christian life, it becomes simpler to us, because we are less inclined to say, "I wonder why God allowed this or that?" And we begin to see that the compelling purpose of God lies behind everything in life, and that God is divinely shaping us into oneness with that purpose. A Christian is someone who trust in the knowledge and the wisdom of God, not in his own abilities. If we have a purpose of our own, it destroys the simplicity and the calm, relaxed pace which should be characteristic of the children of God."

I realize how much of life I have said that I believed God, but continued on in my own abilities. The ability to go on in my own ability has been stripped from me. I have to trust in the knowledge and wisdom of God. Yes, I want my boys home now. Yes, I think that everyday spent in an orphanage is hard on their little lives. Yes, I want to check off my calendar and be able to tell people the exact date they will be here. But if I could do that...I would be going on in my own abilities.

This whole journey is about so much more than a journey to our boys. The Lord is doing a work in us that we never anticipated. Although it is hard, really hard...I don't want to change it. I don't want going on in my own abilities to destroy the simplicity and calm, relaxed pace which should be characteristic of my life. I am sad to admit that probably has not been what others have seen in me. So as I wait for my boys...I am learning so much more about myself, about God, about truly believing Him, about how pathetic I have been in living my life as a child of God. I have a long way to go...a LONG way. But the eyes of my heart have been opened...I have a repentant spirit...I recognize my need to live my life for Him. I am continually asking Him to transform my mind and place His desires on my heart rather than my own.