Better than a Bed

As my 13 year old daughter and I sat watching TV one night this week said, "If we could help one of those orphans, they could have my bed. I'll go sleep on the floor in my sister's room." The tears began to fill my eyes. She went on to say, "I would way rather have another kid in our family than to have a bed to sleep on."

God is so wonderful in using our children to speak to our hearts!

My heart for Haiti...

Wow, what a week of intense emotions it has been for me. Many of tears have been shed for the people of Haiti. My heart aches...literally aches. I am continually crying out to Jesus for the Haitians and for the Livesays (and those they are working with).

A few years ago, I had begun praying for the flood gates to open and for the orphans to be released from this country and this week the Lord is answering those countless prayers. As I watch airplanes of orphans landing on American soil, the tears roll down my cheeks. How Great is our God! I don't understand why it took devastation in order for them to be released, but I am not in a position to question the ways of God. I know He is Sovereign, and that is all I know.

This week we found the family that is adopting sweet little Juvenson through a news story. My sister in law saw it on their local news station and sent me the link. WOW...just wow! Boy did it hit me hard. I am so overjoyed that he will be safe. He was very much *our son* in our hearts so I needed to process through some grief again. Yesterday their orphanage loaded a bus and van to get to the US Embassy to try to get out. They were not granted permission so they had to go back to the orphanage. I can not imagine the thoughts of the older children...thinking they were finally getting to come to America...only to head back to their icky orphanage. I did hear word that they were going to work on paperwork through the night in order to get them all out today. I pray this happens! These children are innocent and they need what can be given them here.

Last week, the girls came running to me telling me to grab my camera. As I walked into the living room, the glow of the fireplace was flickering on Matt and Hudson sound asleep together on the couch. I began clicking away. It was a moment that was so beautiful yet full of strange emotions. I first saw Matt fall in love with having a son while in Haiti. The images of him with the boys flooded my mind. The memories of us holding each other as we stood in a parking lot watching the the boys being taken back to the orphanage hit my heart. The overwhelming gratitude for Hudson hit me. The joy of his addition to our family hit. The love I have for Matt and the wonderful daddy he is hit me. I love that Hudson is peacefully asleep in daddy's arms. He is lying their safe in his daddy's arms yet I wonder who is holding Juvenson. I pray the Lord cradles these orphans. I know He loves them so much! We still will never understand why everything happened the way it did with our Haitian adoption...but we never for a second doubt that Hudson was our son chosen by God all along our journey. It really was such a beautiful moment and I am so grateful that I have this image forever! I know whenever I look on it, it will stir memories, emotions, and intensity...but that is the beauty of art!

Pray for Tara and give...

Please join me in praying for Tara as she runs The Twin Cities Marathon this weekend for the starving children in Haiti. Read all about it in this Star Tribune article. And please consider supporting her selfless act by adding a donation for the children of Haiti.

I never cease to be amazed and inspired by this wonderful family!

What on Earth!?!?

OK, so what happened to me and my blog!?!? I don't really have a good explanation. I didn't want to just keep asking you to pray for my house to sell. I wanted to have some fun exciting updates, but they just weren't coming. So I think I was waiting for something great to share with you...

Today I decided it is time for me to write again! I don't have any exciting news to share on the house front. The sign is still out in the yard. It is an emotional roller coaster. My heart so desires for our home to sell only because of what is in store for our children's future. But we know that God is Sovereign and we wait on Him. I try to draw strength from Him with each day that passes. Some days I feel incredibly weary. But I must press on with life. Even though I feel like we are in the midst of transition, I look forward to the day that I can tell you all that God has answered our prayers and we have a buyer...but until that day comes I have some other news to share with you.

While I do not take delight in someone losing their job...I am incredibly grateful that the Lord heard our heart cries. The lady that was in charge of our adoption from Haiti finally had to step down. I have no idea what the details are on the earthly realm, but I know that God did it. It was a direct answer to so many people praying. When someone in a position of authority and leadership is profusely lying, it can not continue to go on. The time finally came for the truth of the situation to be realized and something done. We had asked the board to have her step down when we lost the boys over two years ago. It was disheartening to see that no change was being made even after numbers of families were losing the children they loved and dreamed into their families. But what were we to do!?! We couldn't make anything happen, but we knew there was ONE that could. And we prayed and trusted Him!

I share this with you because I know there are others that pray for something so earnestly. Days pass, weeks pass, years pass with seemingly no answers. But know that God never stops hearing our prayers, He never stops caring for our aching hearts, He hears and He works in ways that we won't understand this side of heaven. So please keep petitioning the Lord with the cries of your heart and KNOW that He is working!

I LOVE these guys!!!!!

Anyone that knows me, knows how much I adore old barns. So when we went for a picnic in the park and my eye caught this barn I asked Matt to drive back to it. It was off the beaten path, but oh so worth it! The kids filed out of the van like they are used to doing as I grab my camera. Hudson was in his glory, running anywhere and everywhere. Matt chased him all over the place. The last ditch effort was Matt leaping over my head to get Hudson to look and smile! IT WORKED!!!! Even though Matt was out of breath, it was totally worth the effort!

I should really post some of the out takes, otherwise this looks too easy and you might not believe me. :)

Memories, Memories, Memories...

Well, well...we're home from our annual extended family camping trip! And what an experience it was. We have lucked out for 7 years with good weather for these excursions...so I guess it was about time to get dumped on. Rain, rain, and more RAIN was precisely what happened to us this time around. We managed to come home with 5 soggy and crabby kids, 2 dirty dogs, 2 bug infested tents, 10 soaking sleeping bags, 2 suitcases full of drenched clothing, and memories that will last a lifetime! :D

Just when we were about to leave the fun to come home early the sun managed to come out. We dried out our bedding as best we could and crawled back into our tents for one more night. The final day of any camping trip ends up being the best weather and that held true. The sun shone bright above as we packed up all of our belongings.

We always have a blast with Matt's side of the family on these annual rendezvous...and this year was no different. I laughed until my side hurt and ate until I wanted to go to sleep for a week. We enjoyed a huge family game of kickball followed by a huge water fight in the lake...where I think I may have beat Matt for the first time ever.

Look at the mischief on that adorable face!

Due to the kennels being full for the holiday weekend it was our *ahem* "pleasure" to bring our two dogs along. The first night we were up most of the night not due to the children but due to our dogs! They decided 2am was a fun time to wrestle...then they got out of their kennel...and Mocha wanted to sleep with the kids in their tent. It was some good times!

Mocha was thrilled to be camping in the rain!

On of the most exciting memories from the weekend was that our little girl learned to ride a bike without training wheels. We couldn't manage to get her bike packed with everything else. I felt so bad for her as she watched all the kids ride their bikes around in circles. This girl can be found outside my window on her bike almost everyday we are home...so I knew how much she wished she had it there with her. I asked her if she wanted to try riding her sister's bike...and she excitedly hopped on! It took about two times around the circle and she had it!!! I made Matt take her out again so I could get some pics. :) As I type she is riding past my window back and forth. She is so proud of her new accomplishment...and so am I!

I adore the way Hudson is admiring his big sis here!

No trip is complete without us finding some sort of creature. Abigail informed me today that she is quite certain these creatures are now dead. We are very sorry! But thank you for the photo opportunities that you presented me and the hands on learning that we are able to have for that afternoon, Wee Little Mr. Toad and your feathered friend Miss Baby Birdie.

She was in love with this toad!

Yes, look closely and you can see it's wee little head peaking out while being poked by the kids!

Next year it is our turn to be in charge of the planning...

We are feeling very drawn to book a hotel with a water park...

adoption is hard...

Adoption is hard. It is a continually changing journey that you can't predict. The end result is wonderfully beautiful, don't get me wrong. The Lord changes you through the process. He reveals Himself in unexpected ways. But along the way there can be great pain. It is complicated and intense. Things can happen that you can not understand and they shatter your heart into pieces. I ask you to please pray for our dear friends Brian and Courtney. They are dealing with the devastation of losing two of their kids right now. A little recap--a couple months ago they adopted two children through a disruption--something has now happened and they must return to the previous family. I ask you to cover N and M in your prayers as this is so beyond complicated. And please pray for the entire family and the circumstances surrounding them. I am praying for the Lord to reveal Himself in miraculous ways, and to bring intense peace and comfort.

The only way to get through the pain associated with adoption is to cling to God's Sovereignty!