Nesting--Adoption Style...

Well, what does a girl do when a referral for a baby doesn't come to be?? Allow me to tell you! :)

She starts with shopping! Sunday evening I found myself wandering meaninglessly through Walmart, a little dazed and confused about what had just happened. Over the course of the weekend as I sat at home waiting to learn what we were to do next, my mind raced through all of the things that I should get done before leaving. Top of the list were things like...I haven't had my hair cut since last January...I should get that taken care of. Another thought was...oh man, my eyebrows need some serious loving. On that thought, I sat in the cosmetics aisle at Walmart looking for a home eyebrow waxing kit. Then I decided that I really need a new tweezers. A girl can spend a good 45 minutes searching for the right tweezers and home waxing kit. There might even be something therapeutic about it! Focusing on eyebrows led only to the realization that I haven't bought any new mascara for quite awhile, and come to think of it...I don't really like the stuff that I bought last time anyway. Do you girls out there realize how many gazillions of choices there are for one's eyelashes?!?! Do I want to volumize or lengthen? Do I want to curl or extend? Do I want black or brown or brown/black, or maybe soft black? Do I want waterproof or not? Hmmmmmm...these difficult things to ponder, led to another 45 minutes spent starring at mascara packages! I believe there might even be something therapeutic in that as well! About this time I realize that the ice cream that I put in my cart upon walking into Walmart is now melting...so I made my final decisions and headed home.

Later in the week I was at Sam's Club...hmmm, what do I need from Sam's that will help me feel more prepared next time "the call" comes? This led to me buying a little boy outfit, in case we don't have time to pick something up on our way to get the baby. I also bought one can of formula. There isn't really anything that makes a whole lot of logical sense behind the couple of things that I picked up. Because now I have a can of formula, but don't own any bottles...so...well, don't ask me why...I don't have any answers. OK...I could actually come up with a reason to my madness, but some of you may not have ADHD tendencies which could lead to problems following my "reasoning". So let's just celebrate that I now own a can of formula and a baby boy outfit!

What are some of the other things that had to be taken care of before I get "the call" once again from our social worker? Well of course, my hair has been in disarray for many months now. Ponytails are very appropriate for the soccer mom that I am all summer long, but now I need some cleaning up. I arranged a time for my dear friend to do my hair...not only did she do my hair, we got to catch up on life, she fed us all lunch, our kids were able to play with each other, and she even did the girls hair! Whew...friends are so great! Thanks a ton, Monica! As she was doing my hair and I could do nothing but sit there...I was hit with a wave of exhaustion. I never realized how exhausting just "thinking" could be! Mental energy is a draining thing!


I came home with full intentions of taking a well deserved nap. I ended up becoming so disgusted with the mess of our home. All of a sudden, out of nowhere came this energy that I haven't had in well...lets just say a r-e-a-l-l-y l-o-n-g time! I was a cleaning freak! We are talking scrubbing the tub, the floor, the sinks, the toilet, basically anything that I could put Comet on and use a scrub brush on was fair game for this cleaning freak! It feels so good to have such sparkling cleanliness surrounding me! (Don't burst my bubble here by reminding me that there are still about 47 loads of laundry that need to be done. I will keep chipping away at that.) :) It was very much like pregnancy "nesting", but only better...I wasn't out of breath the whole time.

Last weekend was a great trial run! This week I have made some progress in preparing for the "real deal". We saw how quickly things can happen and how utterly unprepared we truly are. I will continue to chip away on our "preparedness" issues. The whole thing is this...if we do go out and get a diaper bag ready, set up a crib, buy the bottles and pacifiers, yada-yada-yada...it will then turn into us not getting a call for another two years. We'll sit here starring at our "preparedness" only growing more impatient as the days pass by. So I figure if I just chip away at it a little bit at a time, then when "the call" does actually come...I'll feel a little less frantic! :) Sometimes none of this even feels like it is really our life. This journey is so "off of the radar" that Matt and I are just going with the flow of it. One day will come that we will post pictures of a little bundle of joy that has been placed in our arms. I will sit here with my mouth dropped still not believing it is our life! I will be even more amazed at how Great is our God!!!